Obamas To File Lawsuit Challenging Second Amendment

The Washington Post may think it’s the cream of the crop where investigative journalism is concerned, but it turned out to be a city editor and puzzle creator from a weekly Washington independent news bulletin that may have just broken the story of the century.  A story that connects the former First Family to a plot to end your God-given right to protect yourself and your family.

The Wzshington Queeferly has a circulation of just over 6000.  It’s city desk editor Joe Barron often follows up on financial cases and stories related to local crime.  All that changed when crossword puzzle creator Jack Bowman stopped by his desk and asked if he knew another word for “merger”.  Barron responded “Union”, and unwittingly set up a house of cards.

After being inspired by the glib reference, the journalist traced back a money trail he’d been researching linking the ACLU to a building pile of legal funding.  Searching farther using internet tool “Ask Jeeves”, Barron found the funding leading back one way to the Obama Foundation, and back through the liberal collective to a huge lawsuit aimed at eliminating the second amendment.  That’s right, completely eliminating. 

The Obama’s and the ACLU have evidently been working the logistics through for years now, and are ready to make their case as soon as a month from now.  Although it seems impossible, a plan to make it work has already been hatched.  The Obama’s are working on having a cheerleader walk past Supreme Court Judge Brett Kavanaugh in order to keep him distracted so that he turns up late and unable to enter a locked judicial chamber.  Other conservative judges will be contacted by telephone and told that the tobacco lobby is blowing hundred dollar bills out of the back of a nearby Ice Cream truck.   That’s when they’ll strike.

Have these two otherwise pointless nincompoops just unwittingly saved our sweet sweet guns?  Only if we can get President Trump to act fast.  But as we know, the only thing our hideously bulbous commander in chief can do quickly is down a hamburder and disappoint his wife.

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